moving on

I know it has been quite a bit since my last post....not even sure what I said in it. Life has been good lately. I took a new job that I absolutely love, in a town where I truley feel I fit in. Good things seem to be coming my way.... my life is starting to feel the way it was, back to normal and care free. Back to a time when I was able to go out places and have fun and not be afraid to meet new people. I actually went out in my hometown with my sister and a good friend and laughed harder than I have in years. I was stunned to see all the new restaurants and bars that have been built in town....it was definitly not the same city it was before I shut myself in and away from the world. While we were out I ran into an old friend I hadn't seen in about 10 years, we sat and caught up on life for over 2 hours...a much needed reminder of the life I had before my rape. A much needed reminder that I miss my old life. A nice kick in the ass, epiphany toilet ( love scrubs for that) moment that I still have a life and I still have friends even though I pushed them all away. I feel like i have been given a chance to take my life back. This new job,new town, reminders of my old life, and old friends that welcome me back like I had never left. I still get the random mind intrusion daily about my rape and the complete idiocy of the surrounding circumstances, but I have found more good in life. Better things to hope for and focus on. When those stomach turning thoughts enter my mind, I quickly shift focus to all of the good that's been happening lately and block out all the bad. I am finally ready to let the world back in. Finally ready to stop hiding in my apartment and start enjoying my life again.