Monday, February 7, 2011

Monday Feb 7- Fear of people

12:08 PM

So I worked all day Saturday, but the flying caught up to me so I took Sunday off.  Planes are filthy, germ infested places and no matter what you do next to wearing a Haz-mat suit....you are going to catch other peoples colds.
Im a little pissed to tell you the truth.  I took vitamin c before the plan, any time i touched anything i used hand sanitizer, etc....yet here I am , with a friggin cold.   Its amazing the if people would just do something as simple as wash their hands....they could minimize the spreading of germs......but as many studies have shown, people just dont wash their hands.

My friends and I conducted our own "study" of sorts while we were at dinner in Hawaii.  We were sitting in an area where we would hear the massive air hand blowers...these were the hi-tech hand blowers that are incredibly loud and strong and dry your hands in 2.5 seconds.  After going to the bathroom in the restaurant, I noticed there were no paper towel dispensers, you use the blowers or your wipe on your pants.
While sitting in this restaurant, we would happen to know anytime anyone left the bathroom as we could hear the blowers.   .....we would also see those who tried to sneak out (and by sneak I mean they clearly didnt wash their hands as no noise was heard yet they came from the bathroom)
Congratulations women.....there was only one instance in which a woman exited the rest room and there was no sound....there was also no wiping of hands on pants either.....
Men on the other hand.....on 4 occasions there was no sound upon exiting...however, there were 2 occasions in which the man was seen wiping on his pants.  To those other 2 men....you are nasty for multiple reasons. ....you clearly touched your wenis to go to the bathroom, you clearly did not wash your hands. which leads up to the touching of everything around you, including that nice juicy burger you sat down to eat.  Congratulations, you have now eaten micro size bits of your penis.
Anyway, to get back to the actual point of this story. Wash your hands and stop spreading germs and every other form of gunk on your hands please and thank you.

SO, on another note.
Vacation was great, I got to do absolutely nothing but lay on the beach 6 of the 7 days I was there. I came home with a phenomenal tan and bleach blond hair.  We went to climb diamond head b/c I hadnt done it in years, unfortunately it was closed......no busting out random dance moves on top of the world (or at least a volcano) for me.
Pro Bowl players were all over the beach. Ran into Julius peppers a few times.  A few days the defensive line was there too. Assunte Samuel was seen all over the place.  
Funny thing, A man that I sat next to on the plane and I got to talking. He and his wife run a few of the YMCA's on the Island.  I had told him I was a saints fan and he started telling me how his wife was with Drew Brees helping run a charity event. When we landed in San Fran. he was able to text her and ask him to get a picture of him for me.  She did, and so he forwarded it to my email. Its an awesome picture of Drew with a Lei on.   Its amazing all kinds of people you meet when you go places.

Thats what I love most about traveling.  Any time I go anywhere I make friends with people. I know people that I consider friends in Lousiana, Maryland, Florida, California, Hawaii, North Carolina, Texas...the list goes on and on.  As I always say, people are inherently bad, but when you have the opportunity to meet new people and find them to be good, you should always jump at it, as good people unfortunately are a rarity.
Which leads me back to why I befriended Kevin, Paul, Mac, Matt, Don, blah blah blah...they all seemed to be good people....funny, sense of humor, not mean spirited.......then enter my Rapist that had to go ahead and ruin it. Had to go ahead and jump in and prove my point that people are inherently bad.  Not only was he a bad person, but he also showed the bad side of Kevin, Paul, Mac, Mike .......Not one of them would help me.....My judgement on those "men" was seriously off.........and now, thanks to my rapist.....I found myself a little more hesitant to make friends while I was on vacation this time.

I found myself afraid to carry on a conversation too long with anyone.  I met some truly interesting people. But when it came down to meeting up with them later for a drink or to go surfing...I couldnt bring myself to do it.  And it wasnt just men I was afraid to befriend.  I met a group of hilarious girls, they wanted to meet up for drinks and dancing later......I decided not to go because dancing would probably lead to meeting men, in which one (i now know it just takes one) could be a bad guy.  I still have these girls numbers and we text random jokes to eachother .....but I am really bothered by the fact I had to change who I am because I was raped.   I guess I dont feel 100% safe yet.....Im pretty sure I wont ever feel that safe again.   Before my rape I would have gone with these girls and had a great time, its amazing how one creep with god-awful hair can change that.  And of course, those girls did go out, had a blast and nothing went wrong......my rapist ruined a perfectly good time I could have had.   I am hoping in time my trust in people will be renewed.

Anyway, back to work...everything is a mess but I am doing my best to not get stressed over it.

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