Monday 11/15/10- 12 :22
I wasnt planning on writing today...it was nice having the weekend off....then I saw a bruise on the underpart of my forearm.
I had let a medical student start my infusion last thursday.....how else are they going to learn if they cant practice on people, right? She made me pretty nervous and I almost changed my mind and asked for a nurse....what changed my mind was that she was shaking in excitement and when she tore into the gauze I had never seen anyone so excited to open a pack of gauze before....I definitely thought she was going to butcher me.....but I let her do it anyway....she has to learn somehow...and most of the patients in infusion centers are older and probably wouldnt the best to test students on. She did pretty well, had to move the needle around a bit while it was in my arm...but she got the vein.....a little painful, but i get stuck with a needle every 8 weeks so im used to it. I was relieved to have it over with and was relaxing, watching some tv while putting together reports for work......I glanced down at my arm and it was turning bright red and a huge hard bubble was forming....the poor girl....she was so excited that she had gotten it right, and I had to tell her the needle needed to be taken out. Long story short, a nurse ended up putting the IV into my hand.
I noticed the bruising the next day.....and it took me right back to the days after my rape.
Its a little nerve racking.....is this going to happen every time there is a visible bruise on my body? I walk into desks or hit my hand on a door handle at least 3 or 4 times week......how can something as simple as a bruise bring me back there?? I guess im fortunate that it is winter so most of my body will be covered....but somehow for the past 4 or 5 days it has been sunny and mid 60s.....arms are visible.....
But enough of this sad stuff.....another thing happened to me this weekend and I couldnt take the smile off my face. If you have seen the Adam Sandler movie Grown Ups....you will have a pretty good visual, if you havent seen it, I suggest you run and go get it.....it was pretty funny, and to me, well as dumb as it sounds, it was another life line.....just another small thing in my life that brings my sense of humor back and reminds me that the stupid things in life are hilarious. This movie helped me make a little bit of fun at my situation....well not the situation itself, (rape is no joke) but a very big part of it.
Now, back to the visualizing. Take a long or quick look (however long you can stand it) at Rob Schneider's character in this movie.... take a nice look at the hair. While my rapists hair wasnt as high as this character....the first thing I thought of when the character was introduced in the movie....was my stupid rapist.....but I couldnt stop laughing! Finally! I have been looking for a way to convey just how ridiculous his hair was....well now I have it. And the fact of the matter is.....I was able to laugh and completely make fun of it.....my rapists hair was the most ridiculous hair I have ever seen.....and now a movie comes out....and its almost the exact same hairstyle....and one of the jokes throughout the entire movie is this characters hair.
Priceless on so many levels.
Got slammed with work this morning, so Im off to take care of that....hope everyone is doing well
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