Its nightfall and its Christmas

12/25/10 Sat.  9:01 PM

Wasnt going to write today.  Nothing of note has really happened since my fabulous childish tantrums I threw.  No more slamming doors, no more breaking glass.  Ive mostly just layed in bed watching movies.

Im a little surprised at how last night went.  It was exactly like every New Years eve I've had since I was a child.  All of the family came over, I gave the most ridiculous gifts I could find to make everyone laugh. The traditional Jello Shots were passed around.....Absolutely nothing was different. I had fun. I laughed.  I made fun of grandma....because thats what we do :)   I didnt panic once, I didnt get annoyed once, I didnt break things......Christmas eve was just like every other Christmas eve before I was raped.   I actually never thought about my rape once that nice.....not once. I was surrounded by family. A family that loves me and finds my outlandish sense of humor hilarious....and when you put myself and my cousin who is 2 years younger in a room together.....you are guaranteed non-stop laughter.

I thought my life and everything in it had changed forever.  Last night proved to me that doesnt have to be true.

Anyway, the real reason I decided to take this time to write was to point out that night is falling, and it is a holiday......I am pretty much betting my rapist is in Arizona right now......lets hope the Phoenix, Scottsdale, Glendale, Mesa or Tucson police departments are a little more on their game than the NOPD.  Lets hope my rapist doesnt try this again this weekend thinking he will once again get away with rape.
My Christmas wish.....he tries it again, but this time the Arizona PD is involved and they actually investigate correctly.  My wish is no harm on the unfortunate woman....My wish is that he attempts to rape her, and she gets away, and reports it. My wish is that he gets caught.

My other Christmas wish is that this freak finally cut his hair......that still makes me laugh.  One can only hope.


Happy Holidays to those that are reading this. Enjoy your time with your family, and if you cant be with your family at least give them a call so they know you are well.

Remember, rape doesnt have to mean the end of your world.  Some things in your world definitely change, but somethings remain and you need to hold those close. Dont let them slip away