Wed 12/15/10- 10:52 AM
I took today off of work. I am emotionally drained and beyond frustrated,.
My trip was great, until my phone went haywire and i couldnt call, text, tweet, blog or anything on Sunday.
I do have to say that I finally got to see the Saints win, but after the game I had an emotional breakdown.
My anxiety of meeting with the DA on Monday had finally gotten to me. I was in a panic, couldnt stop crying.....and couldnt call my best friend because the contacts in my phone were wiped out and I had no way to get her number. I called my mom and racked up a $75 phone bill to the hotel room. I hit rock bottom...wondering if the DA was going to tell me they were going to do nothing.
I was so scared and so panicked I tried to slit my wrist in the hotel bathroom.....The only problem with being on vacation and trying to kill yourself is that generally, there are no objects in the room that are sharp enough to complete the act. I tried anyway. The first think I found was my venus razor. It took a little bit of hacking but I managed to get 3 pretty good chunks of skin up before my friend found me. Unfortunately he stayed in my room the rest of the night, so by the time I thought to break one of the hotels glasses to finish the job,he wouldnt let me out of his sight.
9 AM came and a couple people from the DAs office showed up at my hotel to bring me to headquarters to "re-interview me" This is what I had been hoping for for so long now, turns out it was a complete was of my time and taxpayers money. I sat with three women for over an hour and cried almost the whole time as I had to think back and go over everything again. I had to listen to detectives statements that to me, practically sounded made up ...Im pretty sure that first detective made up 80% of what he turned in. I will be posting about this later as well as more of what went on in the meeting.
Just know, whatever boards there are available to go to file against the police department , I will be going paying them a visit.
Anyway, I walked back to the hotel from headquarters and didnt get out of bed for the rest of the day.....i didnt get out of bed until I had to check out and head to the airport.
Anyway, I am exhausted right now and going back to sleep. I will be posting more about this detective and my meeting with the DA when I am feeling a little bit better.
Hope all are well
2 comments:
I just wanted to offer you a freakin' massive e-hug. I've been to that very 'place' and know just how draining and terrible it is.
I'm glad you're still around though! I might not post as much, but I do read and you keep making me smile.
Tell your friend, on my behalf, that he is an absolute hero. And I hope today is a better day for you.
- M4P
Hey girlie,
Its me again, I did the same thing only with pills and was pissed when I woke up in the hospital and not dead bc the pain was greater than I was. Apparently our journey is not over, for some reason we have more things to do and learn, its just sad that one of the things we have to learn is emotional pain beyond belief. Why do we have to learn it? Maybe bc when things are really really painful we wouldn't know what its like to enjoy true happiness! I'M STILL SO PROUD OF YOU!
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