12/18/10 - Saturday - 1:16 PM
A woman found me on twitter and sent me encouragement on doing what she wished she could have done.
We have been messaging a little back and forth ( i had to tweet from my computer so it was a little difficult seeing how I wont tweet from my work computer).
Anyway, she just said something to me today, and it wasnt something I needed anyone to tell me, but for some reason I am just really emotional about it right now.
She told me rape changes who you are.....I already knew this, but hearing it from someone else just hits me pretty hard for some reason. I guess its because I havent been able to find much about rape victims experiences...anywhere, and I dont blame them for not putting the information out there......but at the same time, its hard to cope when you think you are going crazy and cannot find any information telling you that what your feeling is natural....sure a counselor can tell you that, but what are the chances your counselor is a rape victim.
This woman gave me so much comfort in just telling me something I already knew....something I knew....but no one else would confirm.
I am so scared that I am this completely different person now, and I couldnt understand why I have changed so much. This woman gave me confirmation. She was raped, and it changed the person she was. Im not alone. Im not a freak because Im not who I used to be. I cant stop crying but its a good cry. I can breathe a little bit better now.
I cant explain why this got to me so much, but I am so grateful. Thank you.
1 comment:
Hey girlie,
I just read your blog entry for the 18th. Saw that you mentioned what I had said to you. I bawled and bawled. Why? Maybe bc it felt as if someone HEARD me. Maybe bc you see it has changed you as well. I hate being this angry, sad, depressed, completely unworthy person that I was NOT meant to be. I'm totally guarded and have the attitude of get them before they get me. I have children now have been married twice and in a relationship that's not the best it could be. I believe whole heartedly its bc this has changed who I am. I can't be the mom, wife, girfriend, or even friend I should be bc of this! I'M SOOO PROUD OF YOU! It means a lot just to be heard!
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