My Camera

Its Sunday - 10/10 at 8:42.....its been just over 2 weeks since I was raped.  This past week wasnt nearly as emotional as the first one...thank goodness....i wasnt sure how much I could handle.

So its been two weeks since I got home from my trip to New Orleans.....I hadnt had the courage to look at all of the pictures from the Thursday I met the boys.   I had so  much fun, and we had really only hung out with 3 fo the 6 at the house, the other 3 were out doing their thing.  All we did was laugh and joke aound.  I was scared to look at the camera because I really liked this guy and I was so sure he liked me back. 

I had to look at these pictures, I had to know if I had taken any pictures the night of my rape that would help my case, but I didnt.  I did however have plenty of very cute pictures with me and my friend.   In looking at the pictures you would have thought we had been dating for a while and had real feelings for eachother.   No trashy pictures, just cute, caring photographs of two people lucky enough to meet eachother.  I cant help that I still have feelings for my friend, he was the most amazing man that I had met in a long time and he understood my humor. 



I thought that by looking back at those pictures i would want to erase them all from my chip but I cant.  I really felt something honest for my friend and I know he felt the same for me.  The way he was looking at me in some of those pictures was so genuine and pure.  I could see in his eyes that he had really start to care for me over a very short period of time.
Which brings the question up of does he hate me for reporting what is friend did to me?  We had something that could have been amazing.
I honestly wish I could speak with him, see how he is doing and see if he hates me
Thinking about those pictures I just looked at make me sad......we had such a great time together and such strong feelings in such little time.......this stupid "man" took that away from us .  Who knows what would have come out of the two of us trying to be together....
Im just rambling and now im going to go to bed.

Saints lost.....they better win when im back in town soon

****ISLAND, if you are reading this,call the newspaper,.they should have something for you :)