so its 8:08 PM 10/19/10-
I should take my own advice.....words are powerful
Quite possible the most powerful words in any language are "I Cant Help You"
Why is it, that when it comes to rape, no matter who it is you contact, you get the "I cant help you, but maybe this person can" response.....I am sick of making phone calls, I am sick of website requests, I am sick of the responses telling me to speak with this person or that person because it is their job to help you.
There is nothing more depressing than people not wanted to spare their time for you ....especially when its their job to. I have the right to be informed....well thats great, but when the people that are supposed to be informing you tell you they cant help you or this other person is better to answer your questions.
All I want is answers and not one person is able to help me get them is willing to.....Dont get me wrong, there are plenty of people that are willing to help and doing what they can.....but they dont have the knowledge/skill to give me the answers I am looking for. I want answers on police protacol....I cant get them. I want answers as to why I am not allowed to know my rapists name. I want answers as to why I had to walk around town with a sign announcing to anyone that would listen that I was raped. I want to know what charges the DA can bring against my rapist.....yet they wont talk to me because they dont have all the evidence yet/.....Why is no one just willing to sit down with me for even 5 minutes and explain anything to me......why do i have to sit here with thought after thought in my mind......researching idea after idea, wondering if I am wasting my time.......right now, moving to Phoenix seems like the only logical thing for me to do
If no one wants to give me answers, i will move out there and find out all the answers for myself. A big FU to the government that seems to make it their job to fuck everyone over. I am sick of the bullshit, I am sick of the lack of information available, I am sick that one piece of shit "man" can make my thoughts so abundantly chaotic in my head. I am sick that all I can do is sit here and wait
Words are Powerful- Words can hurt- The only thing I have to hold onto right now without losing it are words. I cannot take physical action, so I will do my best to use words as my weapon.
I need to fight back all the anger and make smart decisions...decisions that will work to benefit me. I need to calm all the thoughts spinning in my head and focus.
I need to make up my mind. If i dont trust the justice system, the only logic thing to do is take matters into my own hands.....I need to start dropping names. I need to use my words.
Do you know 4 men that are friends?? Are their names Paul, Kevin, Mike and Mac????? There is a 5th name, im almost positive it is Don......he goes by a nickname thats 2 words - 1st word starts with L, second word starts with B.....Therefore his nickname L...B...
If you do, you may know my rapist..........Arizona be ware, there is a rapist out there that is friends with these 4 men.....think to yourself.....do you know my rapist?
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