Got home around midnight Monday- straight to be with racing thoughts. Alarm set for 6 so I can get to work......I couldnt get out of bed. I think I got into work around 10. My office is the size of a jail cell, not to mention its me and one other woman in there. Luckily shes my best friend so we make it work. I am not planning on telling her, not yet.
I walk in and she is so excited to see me. First question of course, with a big smile, how was your trip. I tell her it was amazing and I had a great time. Then, to my surprise I come right in and tell her I am in the fight of my life, her jaw drops in confusion. I told her I was in a fight with the NOPD, I had been raped and treated like a piece of shit. Then I told her how I responded- I told her that in a time where I should have felt powerless in life, I wound up not only fighting my attacker (which i've never thrown a punch in my life) , but I somehow found it in me to fight and entire police department and stand up for victims rights. Her face is blank, she asks me if im ok. Without a tremble in my voice I tell him im doing the best I can, Im not ready to be not ok yet. She wants an explanation...last she knew, I had text her I wasnt coming home because I met an amazing man.....quite the 180.
Im sick of repeating my story, I pull up the news story and she reads it. Covering her mouth in disbelief and tells me she knew I was a strong woman but holy shit. I can tell she's proud but she's also scared.
While Im trying to work, my mind is racing. I can't sit here in NY and not do anything. I turned to twitter. I posted what happened to me. A few minutes later my phone rings, its a number I dont know but I answer it because I am hoping it is someone from the police department. Of course it wasn't....following through doesn't seem a high priority for the department. However..... its was a newspaper from New Orleans. The man who stopped me to make sure I was ok, that I gave my number in case I needed some help had sent the newspaper an email about me and gave them my contact information. The columnist told me that after they received his email, they saw a post on twitter from one of the hash-tags they constantly monitor and they knew it was me. I am forever grateful to this man for doing what he could to help. I gave the columnist my story over the phone, with my best friend sitting right next to me....Im not going to hide anything from her, I shouldnt be ashamed and I know she would never think less of me.
I feel like crap. Im coming down with a cold, my immune system is already compromised from Crohn's Disease- the stress is getting to me. My muscles are getting more and more sore as the day goes on, my shoulders are killing me.....Definitely a sign I need to get my ass back to a gym, one fight should not cause this much muscle discomfort.
I keep checking the new station's website. People are commenting on my story. Everyone is entitled to their opinion- most of the comments are saying I was stupid and put myself in a compromising situation.....thank you for pointing out the obvious. Making bad decisions does not make it ok for another person to violate you....if that were true, everyone in America would have repeatedly been raped by now.......next time you make a mistake, be careful because according to some people's logic you deserve to be raped for it.
Leave work at 7, I am completely exhausted and go to bed as soon as I get home....I cant help but check the website again...same old comments.
I apologize in advance for the next postings I make......the postings that follow are when I decided to document in real time, everything I was thinking (beginning Wed. Sept 29 2010). My mind has been spinning and all over the place. I have read through what I have written and my thoughts are back and forth. I wrote whatever popped into my head, when it popped into my head
If anyone reading has any questions, please feel free to comment and ask me. If there is something you dont understand about my story or something you want to know more about, please just ask. My life is an open book now and I will answer honestly- Please do not ask for identities as I will not reveal them.
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