I have already done a live interruption for this first part. I woke up at 4 AM....everyday....4 AM...why??? This time I couldnt be happier to have. I have this SOB on Tampering with evidence....if nothing else....i will get him for that. Does an obstruction of justice charge go along with that?? Not sure- definately will research.
I cant stop smiling- I believe in Karma....I believe this will come back to him. - 193 hits in US, 2 hits Canada, 2 hits United Kingdom.
10:27- I was able to get back to sleep until about 9:30- i've been laying in bed since trying to fall back asleep, No luck. What is up with my super crazy, vivid dreams?? Everything is out of order, everything is out of place. I wish I could say i was joking when I said that guy that plays House on tv was in my dream...what the shit is that about? 213 hits US, 6 hits United Kingdom, 4 hits Canada, 2 hits Netherlands, 2 hits Sweden. People are listening. Thank you.
Today, for the first time this happened, I am waking up with a smile on my face- no hands shaking- I am excited. At least if nothing else he gets something on his record. He is not innocent by any means, but unfortunately our justice system has been known to fail.
11:30- Went into work, Cant stop smiling- Called my best friend and told her what Ive come up with.
11:57- I cant sit still, my heart is pounding through my chest...in a good way.
No call from NOPD....afterall, it is the weekend......are you sick of hearing me point out "the weekend" portion?? Imagine being me, a victim of a crime , being told the Detective has no information for me because it is the weekend.....UNREAL
Not as itchy this morning- this is a good sign that I just have a yeast infection from all of the antibiotics.
12:36- The rush has worn off- I am now exhausted.. My body wasnt used to having that much energy and excitement I guess....soooo tired now.
1:20- Its quiet here at work. I am the only one here. Im sooo comfy in my sweat pants and music playing. I am mentally indifferent- I have no passion- I am just "blah"
Why cant everyone just wear sweatpants to work everyday? I can almost guarantee it would be a much more pleasant environment for everyone to work in. Maybe I will take a stand on that next.
2:13- 220 hits from US, 6 United Kingdom, 4 Canada, 2 Netherlands, 2 Sweden- time to tweet again.
3:46- I keep wondering what will transpire if I get this to trial. I still cant remember this "man's" face. I can only remember attacking him, getting dragged past my friend, wondering why he wasnt helping- boom, out onto the sidewalk. The only other memory I have is of that stupid condom wrapper on the nightstand of the bed.
4:05- 238 hits US, 6 United Kingdom, 4 Canada, 2 Netherlands, 2 Sweden
About to leave work....was able to get caught up on a ton of work. Was able to concentrate today.
6:57- Amazing! A man in Switzerland found me on twitter- He retweeted one of my messages for attention, then was thoughtful enough to ask my permission to post a link on his facebook page to my blog- This man, on the other side of the globe is more willing to help me that the NOPD was. I am blown away by this man. His efforts to help, his thoughtfulness of getting my consent before posting on his site, his caring about what has gone on with a woman half way around the world. Hey Switzy- have you ever thought about moving to America? You could come here and show the Detectives a thing or two.
Now its time to escape reality- I have been wanting to see "The Town" for quite a while now, I need a break anyway.
10:02- Back from the movie- Thought it was a great idea, a way to escape reality for a bit.
I made the mistake of sitting next to the wall, with 3 people to my right. The movie started at 7:30-
its now 8:33 and my heart is racing, pounding through my chest. I am panicking. I have nothing in my hands to keep them occupied- Im stuck with a wall to my left and 2 sisters and 1 friend to the right- I cant get out...If I get up to leave my mom who is behind me will know something is wrong....what am I supposed to do. Im bouncing my feet...twiddling my fingers.....I grab my phone and use it as a flashlight (thats how I know the time this is occurring) i find the bottle of Ativan....i really dont want to take it, I dont like how I feel on it....but I cant stop shaking....I take a half a pill....after a bit my nerves start to calm- I can pay attention to the movie again.
9:13- im panicking again- my thoughts are racing. Heart is beating through my chest again. Flashlight phone, its time to find the other half of the pill.....I can get through this....I can sit through a damn movie. My sisters don't know what happened- I dont want to tell them- Not yet- not ever really.
10:08- I am starting to panic again. As minuscule is this sounds....I am starting to panic because my sister is on my computer and I cant write.....i need to write...i need my outlet- Im in my room, alone, afraid that I will just explode and start screaming at her for doing absolutely nothing wrong. She has no idea writing has become my outlet....she has no idea why writing has become me outlet. I thought ativan was supposed to stop the panicking. Why am I not tired like the last time I took it. Why is my mind racing?
I guess going to see a movie that is half based on the efforts of a police agency to prove a case wasnt the best choice in movies on my part. At least im not shaking, only racing thoughts , racing heart.
I finally able get to the computer. I am able to write, I am able to calm myself.
273 hits US, 7 UK, 4 Canada, 2 Netherlands, 2 Sweden Time for bed
Almost to real time- thank you for listening to me. You are keeping me from losing my mind
No comments:
Post a Comment